What do I strive for?
In my idealistic, whitewashed mind, I think, “Jesus! He is all I need, He is who I am called to follow.” But an examination of my days says otherwise. I am lazy, quick to anger, and quick to lash out at others for my mistakes. I disobey my parents, and I disregard the huge blessing of my education in favor of acting like I’m on a vacation that 1, has lasted too long, and 2, doesn’t really exist. And it’s just the surface of my sin. And as I start to wake up, I realize that doing hard things means actually trying. Crazy, right? But that’s what I’m struggling with right now.
It’s easy to go to church, read the blogs of other Christians, and hang out in cool home school groups (cough- Teenpact! You should go!- cough) and see everyone there as perfect. It’s easy to look at the incredible people that are our leaders in these places and, without realizing it, put them on a pedestal. In my case, that means watching them a lot and not speaking to them unless they’re all by themselves. (I am definitely not a shy person- just ask my friends- but I do tend to run from new social groups. That’s a form of selfishness… I should be getting in there and edifying my brothers and sisters, not hanging back feeling sorry for myself!) And yet, when I do talk to them, and listen to what they say… they’re only human.
Then what about the famous people, our Christian heroes? People like Mother Teresa and Amy Carmichael; C.S. Lewis and Martin Luther. An examination of their lives shows human, sinful people who simply loved Jesus and decided to devote their lives to Him. (And they didn’t devote their lives to Him by singing worship songs and feeling good. They saw what Jesus did and decided to do their faith.) Our Biblical heroes are no different. Abraham lied about his wife in fear. King David fell for Bathsheba. Peter denied Jesus. John the Baptist- the one who was to prepare the way for the Lord, who was blessed with the Holy Spirit from his very birth- called himself unworthy to untie Jesus’ sandals. Paul wrote in Philippians 3:10-13 (emphasis mine), “I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in His sufferings, of becoming like Him in His death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection of the dead. Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself to have taken hold of it.” Paul, the author of most of the New Testament, called to bring the Good News to the Gentiles, considered himself a sinner- even ‘the chief of sinners’ (1 Timothy 1:16).
The only human being in the history of time that has ever been truly perfect is Jesus Christ. And He was God at the same time! If that’s what it takes to be perfect.. I will strive toward it, but I know I will not attain it. Sin has no mastery over those in Christ Jesus, but it will never leave us completely until we are with Him.
It’s what Paul wrote in the next verse of Philippians 3 that brings me hope and reminds me again of what I am to do. “But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”
"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith- and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God- not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."
Ephesians 2:8-10
